Me: Guesss whatttt!?…
Me: I’m pregnant!
Jordan: That’s not funny.
Apparently I had made this joke a few times, to the point where Jordan finally said “please don’t ever say that to me again until it’s the real thing. I want to be genuinely excited when that day comes and I don’t like that you keep making it a joke”
Fine. Fair enough. I guess he has a point.
Fast forward to October 2014. We had just been back in Victoria for a little bit and were thinking about starting to think about having a family (Got that?). We went and saw the doctor, he took me off birth control and put me on a prenatal vitamin and sent me for some blood work. We weren’t quite ready yet but we just wanted to have the all clear when we were ready. Good to go. The conversation came up here and there but we weren’t quite ready to try yet (read: we lived with my parents and had a 30 square feet to ourselves. Not exactly baby friendly) .
Now friends, depending on who you talk to between Jordan or I, this story has two different takes. His take is “we were still talking about it” my take was “let’s start trying and see what happens”. So I’ll split the vote and say “let’s talk about having a baby and see what happens.”
And by talk I mean practice. Eh hem.
Anywho, we kind of assumed it would take at least a few months of trying – like, let’s say four or five. So when February rolled around I’m thinking maybe we will be expecting by early summer. Sounds good, yea, let’s get going.
I can’t really explain it..but the bottom line is by March 1st I knew. It had only been a week and by all accounts, that is way too early to know but I just did. I can’t explain it. I always secretly judged people in my brain that took 12 pregnancy tests because I kind of thought “time WILL tell..why don’t you just wait and see?” But OH M GEE. Waiting two full weeks could have been the death of me. As we all know..I’m never short on the word count but having to hold this in till I knew for sure…I just about exploded.
March 14th. Test day. The earliest day I could possibly test. For those of you nerdy enough, this also happens to be Pi Day. If anyone knows my husband, Jordan Apple Pie Baker, they know he would never pass on an excuse to eat pie. This was the perfect alibi to go to the store. I bolted out of bed at 7:00 and ran to the store (Logically that would mean pie would be the freshest). I actually took videos of me pulling into a spot declaring I was buying a pregnancy test (and a pie). So here I am in the pharmacy, milling over which test give the earliest result. Naturally, I didn’t want to be one of those girls that took twelve tests, so I only bought ten. Kidding. I bought two.
Since my video was kind of embarrassing, here’s my photo documenting my stealth Pi Day Pie/Pregnancy test excursion.
I went home and tested and waited. I couldn’t even look at it. I waited the amount of time and a little longer for good luck – and looked at it…
Nothing. But wait!! If I turn it in the light, there isn’t a line, but there is a white mark where the line should be…does that count as a line?
I need better light!! Outside I go.
Yes…there is definitely a gap where a line should be..but does that really make it a line? In all my philosophical pregnancy musings, I thought I better check 15 times just to make sure.
Finally, my Dad (who I forgot was obviously already awake and alert: “Amy, what is going on?”
“Um…I heard a noise..I thought it was a cat” *OR MAYBE THE SOUND OF MY UTERUS DECLARING NO VACANCY*
This was definitely not definitive enough to get Jord all excited. So I waited till that night and tried again, maybe a slight line?
Time to go back to the store, I’m out of tests.
Let’s just be humble and honest. I bought six over 3 days. Yes I know. I was THAT girl after all. I wanted a very clear line I could show Jord and definitely say “YES”. I think the pharmacist almost knew me by name by the end of the weekend.
Finally, I saved the last test till Monday morning. Got up, took it and sure enough – a very definitely pink line. As much as I wanted to shout it from the roof tops, I also had devised a plan. Jordan was working at the church that day and it was date night that night. I knew he would get nothing done if I told him in the morning so I held off and just grinned at him like a moron all morning long.
The progression of the yes (That’s the name of this photo, I hear all classic art pieces have names, obviously this one needed a name). Also ladies, if you’re trying to hide half a dozen pregnancy tests and you’re the only non-menopausal lady in the house – put them in the feminine supply box!
Jordan: It’s date night tonight, do you have anything planned?
Amy: Yes I do *Still smiling like a tooth paste commercial”
Jordan: “What is it?”
Amy: “I’m not telling, it’s a suprise”
Jordan: “Amy, is this going to cost lots of money?” (Naturally his first worry)
Amy: “Welllll, not at first….” (This later turned out to be a lie when I realized how much I’d spend on pregnancy tests)
Jordan: “Amy, I’m serious. You know I’ll figure it out before the end of the day”
Good luck buddy. You have no idea what’s about to hit you in the face.
Sometime I get a call that afternoon from Jordan “IT’S FREE CONE DAY AT DQ – I TOLD YOU I’D FIGURE IT OUT”
That was in fact part of the plan, but we’ll let him think he’s the champion of the world at least for a little while.
I picked him up and took him to DQ..have you every driven someone around in a car and you know you’re about to change their life completely? It’s a very smug feeling. I feel that’s how Ellen must feel every time she surprises a fan with a house or a car or a vacation or one of those games she does where they end up looking ridiculous on international television.
Jordan thinks we’re documenting free cone day – I’m actually documenting how much I’m enjoying my secret knowledge.
Blissfully unaware as he chatters on about being a supersleuth and Amy is terrible at keeping secrets *Still smiling on the inside* . I actually filmed this whole thing..but it’s rather long and my video editing skills are as good as my self control to take one pregnancy test skills – aka zero.
Now, I had planned this in my head for a quite a long time,. Jordan DETESTS those spots at the mall or the grocery store that are reserved for families or expectant mothers (he’s changed his tune since then, but at the time..LOATHED THEM ENTIRELY) So I say we have to make one last stop, and pull into the grocery store into one of those irritating “expectant mother spots”
Jordan: “Mae Mae this is one of those dumb spots”
Amy: *Turns off car and turns to look at him while grinning like a maniac*
Jordan: “Why..wait, what?” “What?! You’re pregnant?”
Amy: (A little teary at this point) “Yea..”
Jordan: “Woah..we can do that?”
…So it was a little less romantic and touching than I anticipated, but on the plus side, he hadn’t figured out my surprise so that was a win!
We spent the next five minutes being a little in awe of our own fertility. (Ok more so Jordan thinking he is THE MAN – We let him have his moment)
The best addition to this story is that a couple weeks later we went to the mainland to tell Jordan’s siblings and when they picked us up from the ferry we all stopped at a grocery store and Jordan’s brother Josh mistakenly pulled into one of those expectant mother spots and Jordan’s other brother goes “Wouldn’t that be the best way for Katie to tell Josh she’s pregnant? By pulling into one of those spots?” Jordan and I couldn’t make eye contact or we’d spoil it before we were ready! It was so good.
Well, happy one year sort of, kind of, a little bit, little Finn. We love you and that day will forever be etched in my memory as the day of one thousand emotions, suspense and surprises.
Basically the moral of the story for everyone else reading is – Why are you still reading this? Go out and get your free Dairy Queen Ice Cream Cone!